First date

Three years ago today, Fabian and I had our first date. We met after Polish class at Centrum, walked to a copy shop, and printed out patterns to build paper robots. We went back to Fabian’s flat, cut out robots, listened to music, and had awkward conversation. Who would have guessed we’d end up here?! :)

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Emma is growing up in a big way!! She is able to express what she wants with words (in both languages) and by force (taking your hand and putting it on what she wants). She still babbles a lot, but her vocabulary has grown in a big way. She still sings a lot, too.

In the last week or so, she’s started calling Fabian and me by our names. “Er-ca!” “Fa-bi-an!” She gets the tone so perfectly, too. I hear my exasperated voice coming out of her mouth. Oops… One friend told me she’d heard that kids parody their parents. I can definitely see it.

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We haven’t been affected by the artic weather that has affected a lot of the US. Instead, we had one of the warmest Januarys on record! It only got below freezing on a handful of days (mostly overnight), and the rest of the time we had a pretty nice average of 40° F. A few days ago, it was full-on SPRING weather!! It was so sunny and was something like 50° F! Emma is definitely happy to be outside more often.

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Life in Erica-land has been bittersweet. I don’t know; generally speaking, I’ve just been feeling lost. I don’t know what I want, I don’t know where I want to be… it’s all making me depressed.

For the better part of the last three years, I haven’t had a clear picture of where my life is heading. First it was not having a real plan when I moved to Germany, then it was having a baby, after that it's been Fabian’s grad school. I’ve definitely wasted time, I’ve definitely not been as motivated to fully establish myself in Germany and/or fully commit to learning (more) German as I should be.

Even after being traumatized by the kindergarten job with the employer from hell, I’ve still been applying for jobs, but so far nothing has worked out. Next week I am going to inquire about the twice weekly job at the outdoorsy store down the block from Emma’s daycare. It’s run by foreigners, so maybe I have a chance!

I started volunteering as a translator (German > English) for Watching America. I get to pick a German-language article that somehow pertains to the US and translate it. I really just signed up so that I could practice reading in German, and something must be working because the translations are slowly becoming easier. I wish I was able to take German classes along with it, I think I would really be able to make some progress that way.

I also started “teaching” English this Thursday, which is hilarious. I have two students: I am meeting one on a weekly basis, and the other is a two-day intensive kind of thing the first week of March. Both of them need practice speaking and correcting pronunciation. My first lesson was fun, and the woman is very nice, but I am just making it up as I go along. Can any ESL teachers out there give me some tips? :)

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Back in the middle of January, Fabian’s great aunt died. She had throat and tongue cancer; it was very sad, but most people were relieved she wasn’t suffering and in massive pain anymore. She was such a sweet lady, but I only ever understood part of what she was telling me. The funeral was sad, and incredibly somber. In Germany they really go all the way with the black clothing. I wore a dark blue jacket (or my normal winter jacket) and felt out of place because my jacket was too cheerful.

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Fabian is in the final semester of his MA and has started working on his thesis. I’m excited that he’s almost done, and proud of him for having done so well in grad school! He’s started looking at jobs all over the place, too. We’re both all over the map and keeping it complicated. We’re both having mid-life crises and we’re only in our twenties.

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Until next time…!